Life & Rejection

Wow, from hands-on experience with rejection all I can say is that it sucks.

This is the third major rejection I've experienced this year. I know I shouldn't be making a big deal about it, I don't even know why I am... but it hurts. As many of you know, I got fired from my first job ever in April. If that wasn't enough, the talk with my ex didn't go over as planned and no there is no chance that anything will ever happen. And now... REJECTED from something I applied to a few months ago...

Why? I wish I knew, honestly. I hate those fucking phone calls. Those, "We're sorry, you didn't make it, but we encourage you to blah, blah blah."

Fucking, bloody hell. Why don't I have more control over this?

I wish I could just start over, sometimes. Or go back and undo some of the stupid things I've done. I know I shouldn't regrets, but, hell, I do, and I can't help them.

"One day it's here and then it's gone,
How are you still holding on?"
-One Day, Kodaline

And then, to make it even worse, my mom comes in my room and asks if everything is okay. I hate fucking crying in front of people. I feel like an idiot every time it happens. I know some people are just like, whatever, you cry, you get on with life. But fuck. I'm the only person that I can cry in front of without feeling like a complete idiot. And even when I cry I'm just thinking... stop, you're better than this. Stop crying. It's not even that big of a deal. Why are you crying?

It just sucks.