Life & Suicide

I never understood how people could take their own lives. Their lives may be hard, but is there really something that could happen that could make a person give up living?

           

A friend of mine committed suicide. I wish that I could say that we were best friends, but we weren't  I wish that I could say that we were closer before she passed away, but all that I really remember from that time is that we never really talked. I wish that we would have.

I've written about her before, not on this blog, but I have. Today, new feelings arose. I was going through my emails. I’m 99% sure that I have slight OCD, so all my emails are arranged alphabetically into folders of the name of the person who sent them. The only emails that I delete are junk mail emails. I don’t think I've ever deleted an email from a person that I know.

Anyways, I was reading through emails and I came across some from this friend. She passed away last October, and up until today I hadn't thought about her in a while. The emails were casual, we talked about boys and having a sleepover, and I just broke down. There are tears streaming down my face as I write this.

           

Blogging helps me to find a sense of reality. I know that she’s gone now, and I can’t bring her back, no matter how much I want to. But I miss her so much.